Posted on January 18, 2009 - by Booger

The Wrath of Booger

I am not happy.

The humans have me on vomit-icine, which kills pain but tastes like vomit and rabies. The vet said it was shrimp flavored, but I’d like to see him eat it.

My human mom, who I used to love and cherish, is the evil wretch who forces this crap down my throat and stretches my legs for physical therapy. I have long since stopped talking to her or letting her pet me, or sleeping anywhere near her. I get up and leave if she tries to pet me now. She punishes me, I punish her. Simple as that. There are still five human siblings and a human dad that I can snuggle with.

Today the dad fed me the vomit-icine. How dare he! The sister was shining a red dot in my face. I actually trusted them up until today. This calls for more than just ignoring the bad people. This calls for retaliation.

So far today I have bit the tail off lappy (dad’s laptop) and am scratching and biting everyone who walks by me. It’s a start, but the day is young. Hmm… Maybe I can find a great big tractor over at the Ag Equipment Classifieds. I’d love to see them try to force this crap down my throat after I run them over a few times.

All the humans will feel the Wrath of Booger today!